Music Teachers: Do you fill your cup?
Brace yourself for a more introspective blog post here.
We are two months into 2024 and you may have noticed the (comparative) silence from my corner of the internet. I am still taking time to celebrate students and their progress and still sharing some of the topics I’ve been covering with my studio in group class, parent meetings and more. But I’ve been quiet, right?
I’ve been leaning into a personal winter of sorts and grappling with some big questions about myself: Who I am as a teacher, who I am as a musician, and who I am creatively beyond all of that just to name a few. So while I haven’t been sharing as much online, I’ve been deep in thought. I’ve been focusing my energy on bundling up, being gentle to myself, taking the time I need to grow and try new things.
As these ideas crystallize more, I hope to share them with you because where I am going feels hopeful and bright. Stay tuned.
But for today I want to Ask: How do you fill your cup as a musician and music teacher?
When I was in high school, I remember having a discussion with my orchestra teacher where we were comparing two or three different conductors we’d worked with recently. Director #1 was from our local symphony who had just conducted our local All County Orchestra. Director #2 was the conductor and director of our local youth orchestra. Director #3 was the conductor of an Honors Orchestra we had just attended over a weekend stay who was from a college a few hours away.
We were comparing and contrasting the different styles from these people, recognizing how director #1 brought so much passion to the rehearsal process. You know the person - They feel like they dropped in from outer space and all they’ve done is ate, slept, breathed the music you are working on together. The reverence for the music making process is so pervasive and calls the people in the ensemble to a higher level of playing through inspiration. Director #2 came at it from a perspective more interested in the educational value - What were the musicians involved learning in the process? How do we help them be successful here? This director still had high standards, but there was a little more scaffolding. Director #3 was a mix of the two.
I came away from this talk with the idea that most music teachers lean more into their musician side or their teacher side. There are some people who come at it from the teaching side and are teachers first, musicians second. So they might be more apt to consider the sequence of steps to get you from A to Z. There are some people who come at it from the music and musician side, where they are looking to pull you into their world and give you an encounter with something they love so much and think you will, too.
What do you think of this idea? Where would you fall on this continuum?
This conversation obviously stuck with me. From my earliest experiences of teaching, I self identified as type 1, I was a teacher first and a musician second. My studio was fairly effective from the beginning even though I was working on my music education degree at the time. I received a lot of external validation through my teaching opportunities - I had more inquiries than I knew what to do with, my students were progressing well and my studio was helping me pay for college. Interviews for local music shops and music schools that were 3 or 4 years out on my five year plan ended up hiring me on the spot. Things were humming along very well for the studio by the time I graduated.
But as a musician? I struggled. It was like everyone else seemed more promising, exciting and encouraged. I felt tolerated, but easily forgotten and replaced as a violinist. I felt shame about being a music education major, about the instrument I used and what rep I did or did not do.
I’ve carried this identity of being a teacher first with me for years.
Moving into my post-grad life, I focused almost all my attention on education and business. I took Suzuki teacher trainings, pedagogy masterclasses at Peabody and I took my first online course in 2015 (Still a great resource and available here: Teaching the Violin and Viola: Creating a Healthy Foundation.). I read everything I could get my hands on about violin pedagogy, Suzuki method, teaching philosophies, business practices and marketing. My podcast rotation included business, education and music interests. In the brief times where I’ve taken lessons in the last ten years, it has been through a lens of making me a better teacher for everyone else.
WHy wasn’t it ever for my own benefit or enjoyment?
The last six months have been a whirlwind with some of the most impactful changes being:
I left a job where I worked for a community of artists learning how to sell online.
My daughter started preschool and I have dedicated daytime hours I can use for myself however I see fit. Need more studio management time? I’ve got it. Feeling an easy morning? I can do that, too. Just want to practice? I’ve got a couple hours to do it. Life changing.
Read some great books like “The Happiness Trap” by Russ Harris and “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron. The theme of simplicity has been huge for me lately, too. Some titles I’ve read include “Simple Abundance” by Sarah Ban Breathnach, “Simplicity Parenting” by Kim John Payne and Lisa Ross, “Simplify Your Life” by Elaine St. James. So many ideas about my values, artistry and how to keep things simple so your life can be aligned with your art and values has been really thought provoking for me.
Resolved some health issues with a gallbladder removal.
During my recovery period I reached out to the community music program at Shenandoah Conservatory, where I was connected with someone who doesn’t know me or any of my past teachers or background or anything. I feel seen as a musician for the first time in a long time and the accountability has made all the difference.
I’ve let so many things go and trusted the systems I put in place in the studio over the last ten years to keep things going.
Something about this winter has allowed me to be slow and quiet enough to protect my time for my own studies, writing and being still. I’ve been taking my musician side not just more seriously but more joyfully. In the last few weeks, I’ve talked about this tension between musician and teacher with a few people and the sentiments that have come up are “Why do you have to chose between the two?” and “You as a musician who deserves to play with other high performing musicians, deserves to play a professional level instrument and deserves to take care of yourself.”
Why do I think you’ll care about any of this?
While many people may not remember the exact conversation that sparked this dual personality concept for them, I think it is common in our field and it is one I’ve discussed in teacher trainings over the years in particular. I hope this post encourages you to seriously consider if not now, then when will you nurture who you are as a musician? And maybe give you permission to consider:
What does it look like to fill your personal cup, in a way that is playful, fun and just for you?
Can you create protected, weekly time for yourself (See the concept of Artists Dates in “The Artist’s Way”)
Who do you know that encourages you to keep space for the practices that encourage you as a musician and artist?
All of this to say, I am doing well and I am still in the thick of it. There are questions I am still mulling over and personal projects I’m working on. It’s exciting! I don’t know what the other side of this looks like. I’ll keep you posted on Instagram @shawstrings and by email - Feel free to subscribe to stay in the know.
Wishing you happiness, health, safety and peace!
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