Participation | An Invitation for Parents of Musicians
“What do you look for in parents at this school?”
This was the question I asked during a recent school tour with my family as we checked out the local Montessori preschool for my daughter. As a teacher, I knew that could be a tricky question and our guide chuckled as she carefully chose her words. I tried to explain I meant to figure out what was a green flag to them about school families and she quickly nodded to show she understood.
After considering her answer, she said “Participation. We just want to see parents involved.”
Haven’t we all felt like that?
Ever since our tour, I’ve been thinking about this question a lot and what that means for my violin and viola students and their families. I thought it could be helpful to give some concrete examples for what involved looks like to me when I’m on the teacher side of interactions. These are just a starting point, feel free to share more in the comments below!
Know your teacher’s name
Simply starting an email with my name let’s me know you are engaged enough to know who you are talking to, know that the email had your complete attention as you wrote it and that your message is meant for me! Participation includes knowing who the teacher is, how they teach and what their studio is like. Over the years I’ve music lessons, I’ve noticed that parents who don’t use (and maybe really don’t know) my name are less respectful of me, my studio space and policies.
know your role in music
And if you don’t know what it is - Ask! I do my best to communicate this to parents, but I know there are families I have missed or I’ve made assumptions about what parents expect since they’ve been in lessons elsewhere. Make sure you’ve reviewed your studio’s policy, as well as any handbooks or resources your teacher has available! Observing lessons so your teacher can give you pointers as you go, too.
Create a Structured Practice Routine
You know your family’s routine the best. Help your child to identify a regular time for practice each day, and actively participate in creating a structured practice routine. Establish a quiet and comfortable practice space for them, free from distractions.
On a related note, when your child practices, take time to actively listen to their playing. Share specific observations with them about their playing, giving positive reinforcement when you notice that they have their bow in the right place or their intonation has improved. Remember to balance critique with encouragement, fostering their self-confidence and enthusiasm for playing the violin or viola. Focus on what is going well as much as possible, areas to improve can be addressed in lesson times with your teacher.
Explore Music together
Take the opportunity to explore music together as a family. Listen to different genres, attend concerts, or watch performances online. Check out what is available in your community and attend those performances! Encourage discussions about music, composers, and historical contexts. Engaging in musical activities beyond lessons nurtures a deep appreciation for music and strengthens your bond as a family. Successfully studying music is not a once-a-week experience and you support your child so much by looking for ways to enrich their music making outside our lesson times!
bring them to group class and encourage peer interaction
When there is a studio event, group class or more - Make it a point to go! Facilitate opportunities for your child to engage with fellow musicians. Encourage them to join school ensembles, community orchestras, or chamber groups. Participating in group settings fosters collaboration, teamwork, and a sense of belonging. The music studio you are in is created of people who share a love of music, as well as the desire to learn and improve.
An invitation to parents
This week pick just one of these areas to try out! As a parent I know the number of things on our plate can feel daunting. If all you can manage this week is to make sure you know your music teacher’s name, then that’s great! If you decide to try exploring music together by searching how violins are being made or checking out a video from TwoSet Violin, that’s perfect! Progress over perfection for us all.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic! Feel free to drop a comment, share with your community or message me @shawstrings.
